A Meditation on Anxious Emotions

This practice involves deep investigation into the causes of anxious feelings so you can discover the story lines that trigger and drive your emotions.

By Bob Stahl | October 4, 2017

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This practice involves deep investigation into the causes of anxious feelings. Through this practice, you can discover the story lines that tend to trigger and drive your emotions. Although it may sometimes feel as though your anxiety comes out of nowhere, it usually has a source—typically some combination of conditioning, self-stories, memories, thoughts, and buried emotions.

That said, when you practice this meditation, don’t try to force yourself to find the source or meaning of your anxiety. The crucial aspect of this meditation is forwarding your journey of discovery into yourself. Whatever you may find inside, simply acknowledging it will help you live with more ease. Then, rather than putting so much energy into fighting your anxiety, you can begin to change your relationship to it.

Because this practice involves intentionally exploring the experience of anxiety, it can be challenging. Before you do this practice, please take a little time to consider whether you’re feeling up to it, listening to your inner voice to determine whether it feels right for you at this time. Consider doing your first practice when you feel safe and curious and have the energy and time to explore your anxiety more deeply. If now is not the time, be sure to return to this practice later, when you feel willing to take it on.

To allow you to fully experience this meditation, we recommend that you listen to the audio version. However, you can also simply read the text below. If you choose to do so, read through the entire script first to familiarize yourself with the practice, then do the practice, referring back to the text as needed and pausing briefly after each paragraph. Take about twenty minutes for the practice. You can do this practice in a seated position, standing, or even lying down. Choose a position in which you can be comfortable and alert.

Begin with a brief mindful check-in, taking a few minutes to acknowledge how you’re currently feeling in your body and mind…being mindful of whatever is in your awareness and letting it all be. There’s nothing that needs to be fixed, analyzed, or solved. Just allow your experience and let it be. Being present.

Now gently shift your attention to the breath, becoming mindful of breathing in and out. Bring awareness to wherever you feel the breath most prominently and distinctly, perhaps at your nose,
in your chest, or in your belly, or perhaps somewhere else. There’s no other place you need to go… nothing else you need to do…just being mindful of your breath flowing in and out. If your mind wanders away from the breath, just acknowledge wherever it went, then return to being mindful of breathing in and out.

Now reflect on a specific experience of anxiety, perhaps something recent so you can remember it more clearly. It doesn’t have to be an extreme experience of anxiety, perhaps something that you’d rate at 5 or 6 on a scale of 1 to 10. Recall the experience in detail, as vividly as you can, invoking some of that anxiety now, in the present moment.

As you imagine the experience and sense into it, be mindful of how the anxiety feels in your body and stay present with the sensations. Your only job right now is to feel and acknowledge whatever physical sensations you’re experiencing in your body and let them be. There’s no need to change them. Let the sensations run their course, just like a ripple on a lake is gradually assimilated into the entirety of the body of water.

Now feel into any emotions that emerge…anxiety, fear, sadness, anger, confusion…whatever you may feel. As with physical sensations, just acknowledge how these emotions feel and let them be. There’s no need to analyze them or figure them out.

If strong emotions don’t arise, this doesn’t mean you aren’t doing this meditation correctly. The practice is simply to acknowledge whatever is in your direct experience and let it be. Whatever comes up in the practice is the practice.

Bringing awareness to your anxiety may sometimes amplify your anxious feelings. This is normal, and the intensity will subside as you open to and acknowledge what you’re experiencing and give it space to simply be.

Continue feeling into the anxiety, just allowing any feelings in the body and mind and letting them be, cultivating balance and the fortitude to be with things as they are. The very fact that you’re acknowledging anxiety rather than turning away from it is healing.

As you continue to acknowledge your physical sensations and emotions, they may begin to reveal a host of memories, thoughts, feelings, and physical experiences that may have created limiting definitions of who you think you are. You may begin to see more clearly into how these old patterns of conditioning have driven your anxiety. This understanding can set you free—freer than you ever felt possible.

Now gradually transition back to the breath, breathing mindfully in and out… Next, slowly shift your awareness from your breath to sensing into your heart. Take some time to open into your heart with self-compassion, acknowledging your courage in engaging with your anxiety. In this way, your anxiety can become your teacher, helping you open your heart to greater wisdom, compassion, and ease within your being.

As you’re ready to end this meditation, congratulate yourself for taking this time to meditate and heal yourself. Then gradually open your eyes and return to being present in the environment around you. May we all find the gateways into our hearts and be free.

Mindful Journaling

Right after your first practice of this meditation, take a few moments to write about your experience. How did it go for you? How did you work with what came up within your body, thoughts, and emotions? And how are you feeling right now?

This article has been adapted from A Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Workbook for Anxiety by Bob Stahl PhD, Florence Meleo-Meyer MS, MA, and Lynn Koerbel MPH.

Parts Work Therapy-Dr. Arielle Schwartz

Posted on January 9, 2018 by Arielle Schwartz

Understanding Inner Conflict

One of the biggest reasons that we do not achieve our goals in life (or in therapy) is because we have unresolved conflicts between different parts of ourselves. This isn’t meant to minimize legitimate barriers—such as poverty, illness, lack of social support, or currently living in an unsafe environment—all of which can interfere with healing. However, if you feel stuck or unable to reach your potential despite your hard work, then parts work therapy might provide valuable insight.

Parts work therapy attends to the conflicts between parts that when left unresolved can sabotage your efforts toward healing. For example, within therapy there are times when you might be attempting to work through a difficult or traumatic memory. Even though you are ready to heal, there might be a part of you that interferes with the process in an attempt to protect you from vulnerable feelings that feel threatening to your sense of self.

“Successful treatment of childhood trauma or Complex PTSD requires the ability to work with parts and ego states. Within parts work therapy, you achieve trauma resolution by recognizing disowned parts and giving these parts a voice. The goal is to help you develop an embodied sense of self that can compassionately hold your emotions, vulnerable sensations, and young parts of self.”
–Dr. Arielle Schwartz

Parts Work Therapy

Parts work therapy holds a basic understanding that the members our family of origin are internalized as parts of our sense of self when we are children and remain within us as we grow to become adults. Parts can also represent younger versions of self—this is sometimes referred to as your “inner child.”  Unresolved traumatic events from childhood can be held in a young part of yourself until you have an opportunity to attend to these memories.

There are many therapeutic approaches to working with parts, notably, Ego State Therapy (Watkins & Watkins, 1997), Gestalt Therapy (Perls, 1973), and Internal Family Systems therapy (Schwartz, 1997). Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy offers a valuable model which identifies three common categories of parts: exiles, managers, and firefighters. Exiles carry the burdens of trauma including the emotions and memories. Managers work to stay in control of vulnerable feelings often by working hard or manifesting as a relentless inner critic. Firefighters “act out” with addictions or self-harming behaviors in order to prevent exiles from emerging. A primary goal of IFS therapy is to help you develop a relationship with the Self—which Richard Schwartz describes as the confident and compassionate core of the individual that can serve as a source of wisdom.

When Inner Parts Act Out

In truth, most people have parts…and this doesn’t mean that you have multiple personalities. Rather, it is a sign that you are human and have your share of hurts and wounds that need attention. Moreover, our parts hold important gifts that when accessed can help you to access your creativity, joy, and an reclaimed sense of wholeness. Here are 5 common signals that a part is showing up for you—and valuable strategies for how to resolve inner conflicts:

• Perfectionism: If you are like most people, you prefer to be seen as strong, capable, intelligent, and in control. However, it is important to recognize that nobody feels like this all of the time. Getting in touch with the true you—even the messy, hidden parts of yourself—is an important step toward healing. This can involve taking off the masks that you might wear to protect yourself in your daily life and a willingness to accept your imperfections without judgment.
• Self-aggression: If you find yourself being excessively hard on yourself, it may be worthwhile to get curious about the part of you that is angry. Self-aggression can range from self-critical thoughts to self-harming behaviors or suicidal fantasies and urges. Sometimes, self-aggression is a sign that it wasn’t ok or safe to be angry at a parent when you were a child. As a result, this anger can turn inward toward yourself. Sometimes the inner critic is repeating words that were said by a critical parent. Gestalt Therapy invites you to placing the critical part in the empty chair and giving yourself an opportunity to talk back to your inner “bully”. In addition, it can be important to give the angry part of you a chance to have a voice. However, instead of attacking yourself, ask this one important question, “who am I really angry at?”
• Regression: It is common to sometimes feel or act younger then you actually are. For example, this might happen when you return to visit the home that you grew up in or when you are in conflict in a relationship. You might start crave foods that you liked as a child or you might try and pick a fight with a loved one. When you are feeling small, ask yourself, “how old does this part feel?” Maybe you have a memory of a time or event connected to that young part. One powerful practice for times that you are feeling little inside is to imagine the adult you compassionately and lovingly holding this young part of yourself.
• Self-Sabotage: It is painful when we know what we want for ourselves but can’t make or sustain the changes that would create a healthier or more successful life. This often indicate a conflict between two parts of self. For example, you may be ready for new growth but you may also feel frightened of change. Therefore, you might resort to old patterns, even if they are unsatisfying or unhealthy, because they feel safe and familiar. We often reject the parts of ourselves that “act out.” This can start a vicious cycle in which the marginalized part (often a young part) becomes increasingly frantic and is more prone to sabotaging our goals. Rather than punishing yourself, try exploring what this part reallyneeds. As we make space for these needs we are more likely to channel them into healthy, conscious choices. (Click here to read more about The Causes of Self-Sabotage).
• Pervasive Shame: Shame is characterized by the belief, “I am bad.” This emotion is based upon a distorted sense of yourself as being unworthy, damaged, or a failure. Adults who were abused or neglected as children will often blame themselves. This can lead to the feeling of shame. When shame shows up, it is common to feel changes in how you experience your body. For example, you might notice changes in your posture such as lowering your head or having a harder time making eye contact. Or, you might find it intolerable to sense and feel your body at all. A valuable somatic psychology practice for unwinding shame is to slowly build tolerance for the physical discomfort. Once you can feel your body, you have greater choice about how to move and breathe. There is tremendous power in reclaiming your body from shame.

Healing in Relationship

Working with parts provides an opportunity for self-awareness and can lead to a greater sense of integration. While self-help techniques are valuable, most of the time parts work therapy requires the support of a trained therapist. The structure of psychotherapy and knowledge of a trained therapist can hold the depth of container for the process that cannot be achieved on your own. When looking for a therapist, I encourage you to find someone who is familiar with parts work and other trauma-informed therapy approaches such as EMDR Therapy or Somatic Psychology. Importantly, you do not have to suffer alone

Millennials Are at Higher Risk for Mental Health Issues

Millennials Are at Higher Risk for Mental Health Issues. This May Be Why

• January 8, 2018

 by PHILIP PERRY

Credit: Pixababy.

Millennials are experiencing higher levels of anxiety, depression, and thoughts of suicide than generations past. Many reasons have been offered but none definitive, until now. A new study finds that this generation carries much higher levels of perfectionism, and that these elevated expectations may be to blame. UK researchers came to these conclusions, which were published in the journal Psychological Bulletin.

Since the 1980s, governments and their adjacent societies in the US, UK, and Canada, have focused on individual improvement, both in the economic and social sphere. Since then, people in these countries have been working on themselves, forever striving for self-improvement, particularly in the forms of higher educational and career attainment, and better social standing. But what cost comes with putting all that emphasis on individual achievement?

According to Thomas Curran, from the University of Bath and Andrew Hill, of York St. John University, the results are being seen with this latest generation, the Millennials (ages 18-35). This generation feels overburdened with a perfectionist streak unknown to their parents or grandparents.

In their paper, researchers define perfectionism as "a combination of excessively high personal standards and overly critical self-evaluations." It isn’t simple perfectionism doing Millennials in but “multidimensional perfectionism,” meaning these young adults feel pressure to measure up to an ever-growing number of criteria. Striving to reach impossible standards increases the risk of anxiety, depression, an eating disorder, and even suicidal ideation.

Millennials are more perfectionist than the past two generations, and this may be leading to higher incidents of mental health issues. Credit: Getty Images.

To conduct the study, researchers recruited 41,641 college students in the US, the UK, and Canada. Each completed a metric known as the Multidimensional Perfectionism Scale. This tests for three different types.

The first is self-oriented perfectionism, which is an irrational need for one’s self to reach an overly ambitious goal. The second is socially prescribed perfectionism or pressure from others to achieve the loftiest of heights, and the third is other-oriented perfectionism, or having unrealistic expectations of others. This study also looked at how perfectionism has changed over decades, beginning in the 1980s.

The data revealed that Millennials experience all three types of perfectionism, and these scores were higher than with college students in the past. Comparing this with scores from past cohorts, Hill and Curran found that self-oriented perfectionism increased 10% from 1989 to 2016. External pressure perfectionism increased 33% in that same time period. And external perfectionism shot up 16%.

So why the increase? Greater competitiveness, a continued focus on individualism, and overbearing and anxious parents may be why. Higher educational demands and the need to find a job that earns a significant salary, also lead to an inflated need for perfection.

Neoliberal meritocracy itself in this view, comes at a cost. "Meritocracy," Curran said, "places a strong need for young people to strive, perform, and achieve in modern life. Young people are responding by reporting increasingly unrealistic educational and professional expectations for themselves. As a result, perfectionism is rising among millennials."

Social media may also be playing a role. Credit: Getty Images.

In 1976, 50% of high school seniors said they planned to graduate from college. By 2008, 80% planned on doing so. "These findings suggest that recent generations of college students have higher expectations of themselves and others than previous generations,” Curran said. "Today's young people are competing with each other in order to meet societal pressures to succeed and they feel that perfectionism is necessary in order to feel safe, socially connected, and of worth."

Social media too may be exerting its influence. Seeing peers portrayed with perfect bodies, achieving noteworthy goals, or modeling RomCom-worthy relationships, increases feelings of insecurity, and so ramps up competitiveness and the desire to do well. The drawbacks are a propensity toward mental health issues, body issues and even, social isolation. One drawback to the study, it offers few ways to take the pressure off Millennials, besides professors, supervisors, and parents making light of academic and career-oriented tasks, when they instead might turn the screws to increase performance.

Curran and Hill conclude that, “American, Canadian, and British cultures have become more individualistic, materialistic, and socially antagonistic over this period, with young people now facing more competitive environments, more unrealistic expectations, and more anxious and controlling parents than generations before.”

Truth is, there is no such thing as perfection. And we learn far more from our failures than we ever do our successes. So instead of trying to be perfect, it might be best to perfect how to learn from the times we come up short.

To learn more, click here:

Jungian Psychology Series: The Importance of Instincts in Spirituality

"The human brain is among the most developed and complex of any creature. Its evolution and refinement has helped us to attain a level of consciousness and a mastery over our environment, which far exceeds that of any other animal. But there is a shadow side to our species’ emphasis upon intellectual and cognitive abilities and that is the danger of losing touch with the wisdom of our instincts. In an increasingly technological and urban world, modern people have tended to become cut-off from their ancestral self, the primal and instinctual foundation of the personality. Although a primitive tribesman may lack our level of consciousness and abstract reasoning ability, he typically experiences a much more rich and vital connection to the wisdom of his animal soul."